“I always thought Alicia would be famous….”

We were chatting it up in the party suite at the More Magazine half-marathon. Amy is on crutches and we razz her about walking the whole way. Alicia regales us on one point after another. As oldest member of Metallica fan club (read all about it here), Alicia has street cred.

Geralyn is, finally, proudly, at 52, getting her degree. Her last course is a doozie, Macroeconomics, and she’s a bit anxious.

My economics degree from University of California may be a tad dusty, but I remember a thing or three. “Words of wisdom from my favorite professor,” I said, “the important stuff is always on the right side of the graph.”

“All you got to do is get through the class,” says Alicia. “The train is going 78 miles and hour and what time to do you arrive in Omaha?” Hmph. “there’s NOTHING from any of those classes that you use in real life.”

“I disagree.” I come from a long line of math teachers.  “Say, you want to buy a dress. The sign on the rack says 30% off. You want to know how much the dress costs. That’s practical.”

Alicia shakes her head. “I just march up to the cashier and say, ‘how much does this dress cost?’”

She had me there, except every time I look there’s a line at the cashier. And besides, I usually want the full-price dress anyway.

During the half-marathon all of us were complained about the port-a-potties….searching for ones with paper. Trying not to touch ANYTHING. And then opening one only to come upon a squatting woman! (She was probably trying not to touch ANYTHING, even the door lock.)

“This is nothing,” said Alicia looked nonchalant at the port-a-potties, “you should see what it’s like at the concerts I go to.”

This just in from Alicia, “Today I applied for Social Security. While waiting for the agent to call my name, I realized I’m mentally too young to get social security.

“Tonight I’m going to a concert with Chris Cornell the lead singer of Soundgarden—a grunge band, as the headliner.

“Will I be the oldest one there? Who cares?”

Alicia…please report back….Bikini Wax readers want to know….


About Karen Ray

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1 Response to “I always thought Alicia would be famous….”

  1. Ariel says:

    I just saw a post showing Metallica fans are more likely to have sex on a first date. I wonder what that says about Alicia! 😉


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