Steak or Sizzle?

Why is it everyone talks about “getting” married–having a wedding–and no one ever talks beautifulmarriageabout being married, which is of course the point?

Shopping for the wedding dress gets lots of air time. There’s the caterer, the venue, and the seating chart. Everyone wants to hear about the proposal and the ring, but no one asks about what kind of life you plan together?

All of the folderol–color for the bridesmaid dresses, the flowers, the cake, all of it–pales in comparison to the nuance and complication marriage. A wedding is a day, a few hours. A marriage–if one is lucky–lasts forever.

Who is going to pay for stuff? What kind of life do you want to have together? Children? How many? Religion? Should vacations be relaxing or exciting? Late nights? or early mornings? Alcohol? Gambling? Saving? Investing? Safe or risky? Do you believe in enjoying guests and doing the dishes in the morning? Or are you unable to sleep if there are dirty dishes in the sink?

How many people talk about these things? Or even really think about them before they get into a marriage?

Thinking about such things today after yesterday’s post about fire walking–my email blowing up with responses to it. It was a great and interesting experience, though the rest of the Unleash the Power Within Seminar–eliminating limiting beliefs and dealing with our primary fears, is ultimately much more helpful.

While everyone has wedding pictures–the photographer is another big decision–there is no way to encapsulate or photograph a marriage.

And similarly you can’t really photograph change from the inside.

But you can brag about fire walking.

If only I had a picture.


About Karen Ray

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