NSFW

“You really needed to put NSFW on the top of that post. It was gross.” said Ariel.

I laughed…partly because I thought it was funny Ariel would think I was risque, and also because I was a tad embarrassed. Am I the only one who laughs when embarrassed? I have no idea what NSFW means. Too many shorthand terms in the modern world and that one is just not part of my vocabulary.

“NO, really!” said Ariel, “just put NSFW at the top, that way you are covered…”

“In order to put something at the top I need to know what it means.”

“Not Safe For Work,” she said, “as in, your boss might FIRE YOU if he catches you reading this.

“AH…okay.”

I rarely reprint anything, but did find the forward below to be both extra funny, and extra appropriate to the NSFW theme. And this time I asked my tech consultant–Ariel–ahead of time if it was okay to post.

“FB, or blog?” she answered. “FB would mark it as lewd. Blog is fine. And you should also make it very clear you didn’t write it yourself.”

So here we go, Ariel-approved and most definitely NSFW!

 

I the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the following reasons:

•I do physical labour.

•I work at great depths.

•I work in high temperatures. …

•I work in a damp environment.

•I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

•I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

•My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

•I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

Sincerely,

P. Niss

The
Response

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons:

•You are unable to work double shifts.

•You do not work 8 hours straight.

•You will retire well before you are 65.

•You fall asleep after brief work periods.

•You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

•You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

•You do not take initiative -you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

•You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

•You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing.

•You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assigned task.

•And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious -looking bags.

About Karen Ray

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