TiTle IX: Breasts, When the Cups Runneth Over


My friend Suzie has been doing a life makeover. First Weight Watchers and now  she’s also exercising regularly. Suzie is generously endowed, in intelligence, in good spirits, and in also in the chest department.
“Basically I went to Title 9 to try and find a sports bra that would eliminate the inevitable bounce.

“Title 9 has a ‘Bra Genie’ to help you find what you are looking for. Bras get barbells based on the amount of impact you are doing in your activities. I immediately go to the bottom of the list.

“They have only one 5 barbell bra that is literally called “The Last Resort.’ But according to their testers it totally eliminates bounce all the way to DDD. Quite a feat. For that they charge $60.

“For SIXTY DOLLARS I want to make sure the size is right. The bra genie has a size calculator. I follow the instructions carefully and enter my measurements. You know what size it says I should get??

We’re sorry, but your measurements fall outside our calculatable range.

“How crappy is that! So much for my magical no-bounce sports bra.”

About Karen Ray

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