“My Colon is fine thank you, and yours?”

Drank two big bottles of this…with additives.

A great joy of fifties-hood is the ‘screening colonoscopy’.

The good doctors have been nagging me on this one for a good while. I did have one once…twenty-five years ago…and the memory of it …had given me huge pause, perhaps delayed this one a bit.

It’s not the procedure, it’s the prep….always the prep.

Way back when, in the doctor’s office when they handed me the prescription and directions I burst into tears. Seriously. You started two and a have days prior. Drink this potion. Wait. Stir up another potion. For DAYS. No eating, except for popsicles that are not red….And you take up permanent residence in the bathroom. My parents took my kids out of town for the weekend so they didn’t have to be around the experience.

Was wishing they could take ME out of town so I didn’t have to be around the experience. At a certain point I’d just look at the glass of stuff I had to drink and get nauseous.

But I’m here to tell you, much has improved in the last 25 years…not just iPhones, not just computers, GPS, hybrid cars, and social networking.

Colonoscopy prep. Less sexy a life upgrade than Siri, but when the time comes, a huge improvement. Now you start just the day before. You still drink stuff, but at least in human proportions. Stay away from those red popsicles.

If you have questions, call the doctor’s office. I did. “These directions don’t make sense,” I said. “You have me drinking stuff just an hour before I arrive!”

“Just a sec.” The woman rustled papers. “You are coming in the morning. Your original appointment was for the afternoon, so you have afternoon directions.” She read me amendments.

I know you were worried I was going to get all graphic on you. Nope. You’ve got a good imagination, right?

And the procedure itself, a piece of cake.

As in much of life, It’s still all about the prep.

And making the appointment. Just do it.

About Karen Ray

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One Response to “My Colon is fine thank you, and yours?”

  1. Joan Haan says:

    Loved this line ( and the better experience, of course:)
    “As in much of life, It’s still all about the prep.”
    So wise!

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