I promised…another entry in the ‘can you believe this?’ category…
and here goes….
Think of your top worries.
Mortgage payment, maybe? Not enough hours in the day. Too many pounds? Too few dollars? College costs? What to wear on Saturday night? What to have for dinner? Wondering if your grumpy 13 year-old actually remembers how to talk? The new dent in your car? The dent in the OTHER car?
The color of your labia?
Truly. How long is your worry-list get before you come to this one?
Well, My Pink Button, is ready to solve that one for you. For $37 you get twenty little applicators and a pot of paint to apply….well, yep, right there. Labia minora. The innies.
Developed by a “paramedical esthetician” the stuff comes in four colors—Marilyn to Audrey– depending upon skin tone.
No test marketing on this one here, no siree.
I’m thinking my parts, and especially my lady parts are all fine and dandy, and appropriately colored. (no vajazzling or Betty dye either.)
The most fun, in addition to wondering who would actually BUY this stuff, is to read the comments on Amazon.
“Ladies, we all know that we are nothing unless we can catch a man and keep him,” writes Charlene Vickers. “We also know that the fat, balding, underachieving, middle-aged shlub we married will ditch us in a moment for that man-stealing ho Miss Universe if we aren’t superficially perfect at all times. What to do when we start to look like one of those ‘normal’ women instead of an always-perfect supermodel?
“My New Pink Button is the answer! Formulated by a quack manicurist—sorry, I mean a ‘paramedical esthetician’- My New Pink Button will take off the years, take off the children and take off the reality! Its patented ‘natural formula’ (wink wink) is guaranteed to remove what other, lesser women call ‘normal vaginal coloration’ and replace it with pink perfection! And all this with a minimum of permanent scarring and complete loss of sexual response—but who needs that anyway, sex is for men!
“My New Pink Button
265 of 278 people found that review helpful.
Make that 266 of 279.
