She held up a pretty pink box. “Cleavage Cupcakes.”
I felt like a cartoon character with question marks for eyeballs.
“You put them inside your bra and they’ll give you lift.”
“Just like homemade,” read the box. “But what ARE they?”
She points me to a round opening on the box and I stick my pinkie in. Squish. Squish.
Back home Ariel and I have a big laugh just reading the box:
Cupcake Recipe (serves 2)
- Remove soft gel inserts from box
- Layer Gel Inserts into bra or bathing suit, sliding gently into place directly underneath breast.
- Watch cups rise
Ahh! The darn things are COLD. And them’s tender parts.
I put one in and ask Ariel if it looks any different.
“Well that sweater is pretty thick.”
I take that as a “no,” or at best a “maybe”, but with the second one…at least I don’t gasp at the cold this time since I’m prepared…she says “yes, it looks different.” So I wear them a few hours, “practicing up.”
But when I take them off, realize I’ve had one of them in upside down.
So much nuance to this body maintenance business. Sigh.