“You’re reading a real book?” says Ariel the Kindle-addict, “like with paper pages. 
Hardcovers even.”
Paper is still my favorite form, especially as with this book, Necessary Endings, I’m scribbling all over the margins and in the end papers. Recommended by an old friend I hadn’t seen in decades, this seems like a good one for New Year’s Eve…and also good for moi….and perhaps also toi?
Dr. Henry Cloud does a great job showing, in both the business and relationship world how endings are a natural and healthy part of life, and how we so often do our best to avoid them, and how instead way better go embrace them as part of life and use them to move forward to a better future. He goes way far with the rose bush analogy, you have to cut some branches off so the others can thrive. Some already dead, some not healthy, and some okay, but just in the way of others that are healthier and will make better roses.
The business examples are interesting and easy to get. ATT asked Motorola to develop a digital phone, but Motorola thought customers wouldn’t except poor quality of digital sound. Nokia went for it instead. Motorola missed the phone-boat and is now a nothing in the cell phone department. Often, though, Dr. Cloud points out, even people who are great in the business world, maybe not so much in other spheres, “Leadership work(s) best when a person has an integrated or whole character….running on all cylinders and are the same person on the job as they are at home.”
Endings have always been hard for me…kept my obstetrician for the second baby…that’s ARIEL!…even though he moved his practice ridiculously far away. Hate to have people exit my life, even when it is perhaps best that they do so. Dr. Cloud quotes researchers Charles Carver and Mark Scheier in the distinction between “giving up effort” and “giving up commitment”.
“They point out how important it is to realize that giving up on some particular commitment doesn’t necessarily mean you have to give up on effort. Instead, that effort can be redirected to another goal worthy of your resources.”
Never been much of a one for New Year’s resolutions…I always keep waiting for those January resolution folks to leave the yoga studio, which they do at week three…but redirecting energy and effort does seem a great new year’s goal this go around.
Happy New Year’s…
